What They Don't Know by Nicole Maggi

Author:Nicole Maggi
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Published: 2018-08-20T16:00:00+00:00

March 7

Dear Ms. Tilson,

In between all the nausea, I crave things. Deep intense cravings that wake me up in the middle of the night. Two nights ago, I tiptoed downstairs and ate all the Fudgsicles. Joanie is the only one who eats them, and the next night, when my mom went to get one for her after dinner, there was a huge crisis in the kitchen when she discovered they were all gone. Joanie threw a tantrum, Mom accused all of us of eating them, and I lied so well I should’ve won an Oscar.

I didn’t throw up the Fudgsicles. Mom’s roasted chicken with potatoes and carrots? That only stayed down about fifteen minutes after dinner.

Today during your class, Ms. Tilson, the gnawing started in my gut, eating away at me until by the end of school it was a full-on craving, so strong I couldn’t think about anything else. I literally couldn’t remember my locker combination because this craving had taken over my brain. You know Marie’s? They make the best carrot cake in the world. Dense and moist and with cream cheese frosting that’s inches thick, exactly the way carrot cake should be. I could not stop thinking about it. I could taste it in my mouth. I needed it.

Technically, I’m allowed to go out after school; it’s just understood that if I do, it has to be to the library or church or Delia’s house. So when I met Bethany on the steps outside school, I told her the truth. “I’m craving that carrot cake from Marie’s. I’ll be home in an hour or so.”

“Oh, yum,” Bethany said. “I’d come with you if it wasn’t for my piano lesson. Bring me a piece?”

“Sure.”

She went in one direction and I went in the other.

I barely made it half a block when Lise caught up to me. “Are you stalking me?” I asked her.

Her face turned red. “Okay, I kinda followed you last week, but I wasn’t today.”

I stopped and stared at her. “I was kidding! You’ve actually been stalking me?”

“I knew something was up… I couldn’t let it go.”

Maybe I should’ve been annoyed with her, but Lise is the only one I can talk to right now. So I rolled my eyes and started walking again. Lise fell into step with me. “I’m going to Marie’s,” I told her before she could ask. “I need a piece of carrot cake.”

“Yuck. There is something wrong with putting vegetables in cake.”

“You don’t notice the vegetables when there’s that much frosting involved.”

Lise laughed.

When we got to Marie’s, it was practically empty. It doesn’t get much of an after-school crowd. Most of the kids go to Starbucks, which, thankfully, hasn’t driven Marie’s out of business. I got two slices of carrot cake (one for me and one to go for Bethany) and Lise got a red velvet cupcake. When I took my first bite of cake, it was as if everything I’d ever eaten had been sawdust. Nothing ever tasted that good. I think I may have actually moaned.

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